Why you need to cease utilizing business buzzwords
Here is a list of buzzwords, biz speak, and hipster poop that should be kept out of any business meeting forever. Does the following sound familiar to you?
Client: Our Big Data Rock Star has developed a cloud-based, scalable, native programmatic tool set that delivers excellent learning outcomes.
Consultant: Well it sounds like he took it to the next level … 110% effort to develop best practices, a robust solution that you can use, and it's clearly unconventional to think about. .. but maybe you shouldn't be trying to cook the ocean … it has a lot of moving parts and I'm not sure you want to take any of it. You could be accused of hitting the pup so the optics are all wrong. We should probably put this in the parking lot.
If you don't like these strung together sentences, why use them individually?
Prohibited Words (in no particular order)
We hacked it – Just say, "I found out." You're not a hacker unless you are investigated by the FBI, NSA, or one of the other 15 national security agencies. Not even close.
Paradigm shift – Do you mean that there is a new archetype or an exceptionally clear example of a departure from the original pattern or model of “All things of the same type are representations or copies?”? If not, it's just "something new".
Game changer – Has that person or thing changed the business dramatically? If not, try "significant," "non-trivial," "interesting," "effective," "meaningful", or anything else. Let's not "gamify" the business.
Bother us – Try "innovation", "transformation" or just "change". All are great words to describe another overused but more precise phrase: "Adjust or Die!"
Hockey stick – Really? A hockey stick? We live in the age of exponentialism. Everything changes exponentially every day. We're somewhere on the blade of the hockey stick. We passed the "stick" part about 5,000 years ago. As we get down to the topic, stop drawing the curve in the air with your hands when you say it – it drives me crazy.
Out of the box – Just say: "We have escaped our Luddite limits and have developed our thinking beyond the rectangular information in the organizational chart." What? You think that sounds stupid? It sounds stupid, but it's 50 times more interesting than "out of the box".
earn money – I want a $ 5 premium on my usual $ 20 fine for using prohibited words the next time you say “Monetize”. "How we make money!" "Make the bank." "Deserve the buns." "Cake together." "Chase paper." "Hustle." "Calculate it." "Stack of papers." "Bilk the masses out of their hard earned money." Anything but "monetize".
Available again due to high demand
Learn – I learned, we learned, he / she / it learned – it's the easiest verb to conjugate in the English language. You should also stop exerting yourself. See the "Findings" above.
idea – People who use "Ideate" clearly have no idea about the process of generating ideas. It should cost you $ 20 every time you get the idea to say it.
Rock star – There are no rock stars in any profession other than rock music. Rappers don't call themselves rock stars. Neither EDM, country, soul, R&B, jazz nor folk stars. Why on earth would someone who doesn't make a living from rock think it's okay to call someone a rock star in the business? If you can jump across the stage and land on your knees while playing a Bb7 # 9 chord and screaming the lyrics (on key) with pyrotechnics that explodes in front of 20,000 avid fans around you, you are a rock star. If you are excellent at media buying or staffing, you will get my point.